YOU, YOUR PARTNER AND YOUR PROSPECTIVE IN-LAWS!
-DiplomaticBlessing

The way your prospective family in-law treats you the first time you visit says a few things; the type of people they are, the level respect they have for your partner and the way your partner has presented you to them.

If they are rude or disrespectful to you on your first visit, it’s either they are just rude and disrespectful generally, they don’t respect your partner or your partner has created the impression that you can be disrespected by just anyone, or all of the above.

Africans are generally known for their hospitality, so this notion that women need to perform respect, humility and subservience to be accepted by their prospective in-law is deeply rooted in misogyny and we can pretend all we want, but I’ve never heard of any family ordering a male visitor to sweep the house, do the dishes or do laundry on his first visit.

They are not even asked to do the “traditionally masculine” tasks like hewing firewood, fixing generators and washing cars. No one bats an eyelid if a male visitor does not do the dishes after eating, but we question women’s training if they don’t do the same on a first visit.

If they are ordering you to do the dishes on your first visit, what’s to say that in a few years, you won’t be one of those writing about a parent in-law şlâppíng you for any reason at all?

I know you want to be married, but try to check every disrespect or remove yourself from the situation, because na from clap them dey take enter dance.

Anyway, to each their own.